Business Warning Labels

I got these from the www.snopes.com site. The comments are of course mine....

Do not use while sleeping. Sears hair dryer

They now have a 12 step program for serial narcoleptic beauticians... my life is complete.

You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. Bag of Fritos

So if I steal the bag I can't be prosecuted?

Use like regular soap. Dial soap

I promised my attorney that I would not talk about my irregular soap habits.

Serving suggestion: Defrost. Swann frozen dinner

And here I am wondering why I only have three teeth left........

Fits one head. Shower cap box

The box has a picture endorsement from Cinderella.

Do not turn upside down. Bottom of Tesco's Tiramisu dessert box

A stoke of genius! Contents of this are packaged upside down because we are just too stupid to read the front or the top of the box. What will they think of next?

Product will be hot after heating. Marks & Spencer bread pudding

So I just need to put the Swanson's frozen dinner in the bread pudding?

Do not iron clothes on body. Rowenta iron

Now I have to break from the feeble attempts at comedy here because in reality the company's lawyers made this organization put this warning on the box due to the fact some idiot actually tried this and sued them.....

Do not drive car or operate machinery. Boot's children's cough medicine

I can see the headline now. "Four die in tragic Big Wheel/cough medicine accident"

Warning: May cause drowsiness. Nytol

I think the lawyers from Nytol and the lawyers from Boot's children cough medicine should schedule a lunch together.....

Warning: Keep out of children.Korean kitchen knife

Word to the wise. DO NOT LEAVE your children unattended while vacationing in Seoul....

For indoor or outdoor use only.Chinese Christmas lights

This must be a Zen thing that westerners will never understand. Probably related to the fact that the Christmas lights don't really exist anyway.

Not to be used for the other use. Japanese food processor

Now I am intrigued. I've seen "The Ring" and "The Grunge". Is there another Japanese horror flick that explains the "other" usage of food slicers? Maybe "the Niigata Kitchenaide massacre"? I now have more respect for those "Iron Chef" guys.....

Warning: Contains nuts Sainsbury's peanuts

Sounds to me like their needs to be more nuts in the container and less in Sainsbury's management team.

Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts. American Airlines peanut packet

Hopefully there are no low IQ cannibals on your flight.

Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands. Swedish chainsaw

Those wacky Swedes. Always trying to prove that just because you are a socialist doesn't mean you ain't tough!