Greeting from around the Globe

Dear Bro,

Even though all languages are different there are common factors in each that are symbolic of the human race and its communal existence in nature. One of these traits would be "the greeting". In most languages that have propagated across the planet, when two people run into each other (whether they actually know on another or not) they exchange a very common form of reception that involves inquiring about the well being of the other individual.

This is considered polite, not to mention a way to communicate without grunts, epitaphs, or fist fights. However, there is usually a different meaning behind the salutation process. Lets review...

French: Comment ça va?
Literal translation: How does it go?
Real translation: I am French. If you are also French, then you know that I don't really give two monkeys how you or any of your relatives are doing, but as we are both French we must be polite and civil otherwise we risk being like those barbarians from the savage lands that surround our beloved France. Viva La France!
If you are not French, then go away... you bore me.....

German: Wie geht es Ihnen?
Literal translation: How goes you?
Real translation: Welcome my friend. Go ahead... take off your clothes... we are German, no?

Japanese: 御元気ですか? (O genki desu ka?)
Literal translation: How are you? (with big smile)
Real translation: Barbarian... do not shake my hand!!! You have dishonored both mine and your family by offering your hand instead of politely bowing. Our ancestors are truly embarrassed by your uncivilized behavior!!! If only I lived in the days of the samurai, I would do honor to your predecessors and remove your feeble unworthy head from your shoulders!!!!!

Italian: Come sta?
Literal translation: How are you? (must use hands when saying for proper effect)
Real translation: I can't believe Inter Milano beat Roma!!! (powerful Italian soccer/football teams) Did you see how they cheated through out the game... this is an outrage!!! Unbelievable... it must have been fixed!!! Oh wait.. I'm not allowed to say that..... But those Milano's... they cheat I tell you... they cheat...

Farsi: Hale shoma chetore?
Literal translation: How are you?
Real translation: Are you doing anything later, cause there is a great satan anti-american combination flag burning and social gathering that the government is sponsoring later today and I hear that there might be some girls wearing the latest fashion in burkas there. See you there then? Okay... death to the infidels!!!! ciao!

Nahuatl(Aztec Empire): Quenin timoyetzica?
Literal translation: How are you?
Real translation: Hi! Would you like to consider joining our religion? It is a simple process, and fairly quick I might add. We would be greatly honored to introduce you to a good friend of ours named Huitzilopocktli. Trust me, it will only be a minor sacrifice on your part. ... Hey! Is that your sister over there... she doesn't happen to be virgin does she?