It's the Law

Dear Bro,

As you know we are a nation of laws. If the Federal government has not addressed an issue, then the state governments will act on it. If for some reason the state misses a rule, then it falls to county or city to come up with their own set of rules. This level tends to be where we find our most interesting regulations. Lets look at a few....

Wilbur, Washington: It is illegal to ride down the street on an ugly horse.
My only question is what constitutes an ugly horse? Is it born on the wrong side of the barn? Do the local police have guidelines to follow? "Sir, do you know why I pulled you over? Your horse has buck teeth Sir...."

Hartford, Connecticut: It is against the law to educate your dog.
I think some local legislators need to be informed that George Orwell's "Animal Farm" is a WORK OF FICTION!!!!!!"

Lawrence, Kansas: You are not allowed to carry bees around in your hat on city streets.
So obsessive types with a "bee in your bonnet" will find themselves facing a SWAT team?

Washington DC: It is not legal to paint lemons all over your car to let people know you were taken advantage of by a specific car dealer.
But it is okay to smoke crack and then get re-elected as mayor. What a town!

Sault Sainte Marie, Michigan: It is illegal to spit again the wind.
Future statutes currently being considered by city elders include making it a misdemeanor to make physical contact with the clothing of a person possessing supernatural abilities and to cause aggravation of any kind to individuals within city limits who's first name is a derivative of the name James.....

Binghampton, New York: Ninth grade boys are not allowed to grow mustaches.
I think who ever came up with this prize winner probably runs a fairly high risk of hearing the following said to them in person "I'm Chris Hansen of Dateline NBC and we are running a story on sexual predators who prey on.... "

Santa Ana, California: It is against the law to swim on dry land.
Methinks maybe someone in city government has a financial stake in the town's swimming pool? Either that or the local sheriff has not had much luck in shutting down LSD trafficking...

Meanwhile on the Swiss-Liechtenstein border....

Somewhere in eastern Switzerland about twenty miles south-southeast of Appenzell. A group of 170 elite Swiss troops amass at the border to Liechtenstein under the cover of darkness. The commander of the company has his four platoon leaders behind him as he points at a map.

Captain Vogel: Good evening gentlemen. The day we have all waited so long for has arrived. We have been given the honor of commencing Operation Clean Hans. Starting tonight we will be crossing the border and marching on Vaduz. Once there, we will storm the palace and remove Johannes Adam Ferdinand Alois Josef Maria Marko d'Aviano Pius von und zu Liechtenstein from office. Any quesitons?

Lt. Senderos: Who on God's green earth is that?

Captain Vogel: You know him as Hans-Adams II, Prince of Liechtenstein.

Lt. Senderos: Oh... that guy....

Lt. Zuberbuhler: Captain, it is such a small county and we have been neutral since the dark ages. Tell me again why we are invading our next door neighbor?

Captain Vogel: Two reasons. For the last 30 years they have been moving in on our banking business and stealing clients with their loose rules and "look the other way" statues. Oh.. and Hans-Adams' son Prince Alois has cut us a big fat check to rid him of the old man...

Lt. Frei: We got paid? Cool... lets go kick some Liechtensteinian butt!!!!!

Two hours later about one mile inside the Liechtenstein border. A lieutenant runs from the front to the Captain in the rear of the formation.

Lt. Barnetta: Captain... Captain.. .an enemy combatant has been spotted dead ahead.

Captain Vogel: Pass the word ... everyone down and out of site while I call in the helicopter gunships.

Lt. Barnetta: Sir, if you remember President Calmy-Rey is using the fleet for her holiday in the south of Spain.

Captain Vogel: Damn! Corporal! Give me my binoculars...

Vogel peers ahead and sees numerous sheep and a small boy with a flashlight attempting to herd them toward a small fenced-in pasture near a barn on the horizon.

Captain Vogel: Good, he has not spotted us. I think a full frontal assault is in order here. Lt. Barnetta, spread the word to lock and load and prepare to move forward on my mark.

Lt. Barnetta: Great thinking sir! Where have you placed the supply platoon with the ammunition so I can dole out some rounds to the men.

Captain Vogel: Ops..... I knew I forgot something.... alright.. lets get out of here before we are discovered... full retreat!!!!!!

The next day's newspaper headline...

ZURICH, Switzerland -- What began as a routine training exercise almost ended in an embarrassing diplomatic incident after a company of Swiss soldiers got lost at night and marched into neighboring Liechtenstein.

According to Swiss daily Blick, the 170 infantry soldiers wandered just over a mile across an unmarked border into the tiny principality early Thursday before realizing their mistake and turning back.

A spokesman for the Swiss army confirmed the story but said that there were unlikely to be any serious repercussions for the mistaken invasion....

Officials in Liechtenstein also played down the incident.

Interior ministry spokesman Markus Amman said nobody in Liechtenstein had even noticed the soldiers, who were carrying assault rifles but no ammunition. "It's not like they stormed over here with attack helicopters or something," he said.

Liechtenstein, which has about 34,000 inhabitants and is slightly smaller than Washington DC, doesn't have an army.